Stress Management – It’s Mostly an Inside Job
Stress. We all have it, and frequently blame our state of health on it. We speak as if stress is something happening to us, coming from outside us, over which we have no control. Yet, even though we are familiar with it, that is not the same as knowing what it is and how to handle it. Is stress really what we think it is? Let’s see…
What most of us label as stress is really the stressor – a circumstance, event, person, or issue which is the catalyst for some discomfort we feel. Stress is actually our discomfort or response to that stressor, and is based on our perception of our ability to cope with the stressor. So, if we think we’re able to cope, we’re under less stress than if we think we’re ill-equipped to cope — regardless of the magnitude of the stressor. It makes sense, then, to enhance our coping skills and change our perception. How do we do that?
First, except for a medical crisis, there is nothing that won’t benefit from a few well-used moments of time. So, in a stressful situation, take a few slow deep breaths to calm your emotions and your mind. Ground yourself. In other words, become more aware of yourself in your body, and of your surroundings. Be present, both in time and space. Continue to breathe, slowly and deliberately. Then, ask for guidance. Remember that inspiration is another word for inhaling. Finally, listen to that inner guidance, that still, small voice within. If it is congruent with your ethics, then follow it.
If you’re under stress, but have some time, you may find it helpful to turn on some Mozart or Steven Halpern music, diffuse some therapeutic grade lavender oil, and jump on the treadmill to get those endorphins pumping. Or into the tub with some sea salt! But few of us have that luxury when we most need it.
In stressful situations in which you’re pressed for time, cultivate some simple statements which will buy you a few moments to consider your options. When interacting with adults who are coercing me for a decision or wanting my help at an inopportune moment, I have a favorite saying. “That’s too important an issue for me to answer off the cuff. Let me think about it and give it the attention it deserves.” (This is potent, if properly used. If overused or misused, it will lose its effectiveness and your integrity may be in question.) For children, I find that the following works well: “If you insist on an answer now, it is “NO”, but if you give me a few minutes, I’ll think about it.”
Most stressful situations will sort themselves out if you answer a few simple questions. Is it important or unimportant? (Will it matter a year from now?) Am I the best person to handle this? (Be honest. Are you enabling?) And: Is it controllable or uncontrollable? This is where is gets tricky. If there is something that you can do on the physical level that would alleviate the problem, and you feel so guided, then do it. However, you may find that most challenges, at first glance, seem uncontrollable. Don’t be deceived. Let’s explore this on another level.
Your thoughts are energy, and energy influences matter. (Skeptics may want to review the Princeton stuies on random number generators, or the Spindrift Studies, reported by Larry Dossey, M.D.) Your thoughts can be powerful electromagnetic stress-busters. They must, however, be used responsibly, NOT to overcome the free will of another person. In the form of prayer or creative visualization, thoughts can be effectively directed in the following ways:
First, mentally envision a positive outcome. Pray, if you wish. Be creative, but always ask for “this, or something better”. Leave room for the universe to be creative and resourceful. You can be as specific or as general as you wish. Or, if you prefer a more nondirective approach, you may send guidance/wisdom/love to all individuals involved, or into the center of a situation. (Amazing results have been achieved by James Twyman, Gregg Braden and many others in bringing peace to areas of global conflict. ‘The Maharishi effect ‘ has achieved and documented similar results.) The power of your thoughts and prayers are enhanced when you FEEL as many positive emotions as you can muster, while imagining the resolution of the challenge. Imagine the relief and happiness you would feel if the situation were already resolved. Then feel it.
Sending light, using visualization techniques, can also be a powerful use of thought. Most people send white light. White, however, represents unconditional love, and lends energy to both light and dark sides of a conflict. Consider sending green for balance and harmony, pink for love, or purple for transformation.
In addition, there are affirmations and mantras which are useful in handling stressful situations. (My personal favorite is “I have all the time I need.”) Keep your statements brief, in the present tense, and phrase them positively to evoke pleasant emotion like joy or excitement. Repeat them until you feel an internal shifting. If possible practice them when in a relaxed or altered meditative state. Affirmations are especially effective when utilized with certain accupressure points, to help overcome any unconscious resistance.
What is the most effective way to handle stress? Work on it on another level. Instead of focusing all your efforts externally, try working on it on the inside, using your head and heart. What you think and feel CAN make a difference!
